To be rational and effective – thats trendy. Everything else is annoying. Feelings really make everything chaotic. They have different rules, different priorities.
And thats for good.
We can not live as machines. It would not make us happy and no one else either. So we need to deal with the feelings. Many of us – so do I sometimes – try then if the feelings do not fit (into our plans) ignore them. But feelings do always fit (but never in our calender).
The feelings – particularly the unpleasant ones – offer huge treasures, if we take them seriously:
- They are the entrance to our authenticity and vitality. And therefore for joy and happiness, even if we may not feel really troubled or broken. It really brings more joy in our lives, if we accept our feelings and not fight them. Then we are easily able to feel the real happiness. The happiness about that we are simply right, and wonderful.
- Wild feelings show us (sometimes exaggerated so that they are easier to understand) really important life-topics. Topics we otherwise would ignore, because that´s easier. They can point us at ethical values, we might ignore and whitewash. Or they point us at old wounds, srong desires, big fears. All this is in inside ourselves and it is precious. It is part of our life. If we always don´t want to look at it, we cut ourselves from the power of solving these problems and learn and grow from them (and they continue hurting).
- If we really seriously love ourselves – and this is the most healthy state of being to seek, which brings ourselves and those around us happiness – then we need to love us when we are in a „bad mood“, too: not criticizing ourselves, not grumbling at ourselves, not being dissatisfied. Because then we make ourselves small and guilty instead of reckognizing the power which is in the situation.
- Being emotional is not an unpleasant side effect of pregnancy, no mistake of mother nature. It is important and necessary. It helps us, to deal with the radical psychic changes, it helps us navigating through this time, it helps us to became a mother. It helps us being open for this time of change and our still invisible child inside and enables us to love it.
And in practice?
Simply dive in. Don´t worry, when we really dive into it, we really come back easily (and faster as if we don´t). Really. Promised.
But how does this work: diving into it?
It means you need to stop fighting, stop trying to be different, stop trying to feel different and stop being grumpy about feeling like that. You can comfort yourself and do something for you. But be careful that it is really something good and helpful and not simply flight or numbing.
What is helpful and good for you?
You can meditate, read inspiring texts that speak to your soul, take a bath, go for a walk. Express yourself through art, painting, writing, dance… Or listen to music and drink some tea… everything is healthy that lets room and is positive. Watching TV or reading novels is not on the list. You can give this as a reward to yourself but only after the first step. It is no confrontation with your feelings if you flee in a different life.
Diving in is different from enduring. Enduring is, when you sit and wait that it will go away. That is one possibility to deal with and its not the worst. But its not diving in or confronting with the message and the power of the feeling.
Often our judgment and our fears hold us back from diving into it. „I am not allowed to feel like that“ – „I don´t want to feel like that“ – „It´s not right“ – „If I dive into it, I will never come back, I will go crazy“, „no-one will ever take me serious again“ – „I will not handle the full feeling, I will break, everything will break“
Thats why most people stay at the edge of the feelings. I really can understand this. I like to stay there, too. I too need to overcome my fears, to dive into the rough water. But it is worth it every single time.
And the feelings loose their horror and show their sparkle and their power.
P.S. The image is taken from a card of my inspiration cards deck which I am in the process of translating. They will be soon published in English. Here. So come back or subscribe to the mailing-list (and you will get a special prize for them)