Weekend Reflection

This is post part of the Weekend Reflection at ArtTherapista

What is missing in the view of mother versus women energy

Did you hear the rumor about this lifechanging mother-women-energy Call from Crystal Andrus?

Its true. She talked about mother energy versus women energy. And she adressed really really important and touching issues. If you havn´t listen, consider, to do it now. http://swatinstitute.com/woman_energy/replay.html
I really enjoyed it and it touched me and helped me, too. BUT. I disagree.

Crystal Andrus intruduces the listeners in a very easy to understand and touching way to three different energies. She calls them daughter, mother and women energy. And that´s the point, where I believe her not to be „right“. I can easily relate to the energies she is talking about. Every women knows them – and every men has reckognized them. Obviously the naming of the energy is on the one hand only a naming. But a name is not only a name. Here is what she missed in the call. I am deeply convinced, that she energy she describes as a daughter energy is a negative daughter energy. The energy she describes as a mother energy is the weak and negative mother. The daughter energy described looks for me as the princess out of the fairy tale – or like she would look like when that kind of person lives today. So for me its the princess (negativly understood) energy. That one that wants to be rescued. And yes, that energy is real. And yes, its so important to see that really that energy is not usefull for a powerful grownup women. I fully agree in this point. But there are positive daughter-aspects to, we really can include in our grown up selfes and I believe that Crystal Andrus would agree here. For me the positive aspects of daughter energy are the warrier and the child. Think of the tarot cards the daughters (if you have a deck that named the cards daughters) are powerful, fiercy but not that balanced yet. It would me take pages to go deeper into the positive daughter energy. I believe that this great and wonderful women energy – Crystal talks about – is integrating the positive aspects of the others and balancing them, mixing to something new.

The mother energy has kind of a bad stand at the talk of Crystal. And yes, I can understand that – because the energy she introduced and the way we see it used so often is really not such positive. But there surely is a positive side of mother energy. As with everything it needs to be balanced. You can draw every good into evil if you don´t balance it. And again I think, Crystal would agree. I agree that the examples and the behaviour she showed of the mother energy isn´t helpful or positive (even though it is intended to be positive). But that´s the WEAK MOTHER. But the weak mother is what is most obvious in our culture. We have images of weak mothers as MOTHER and we have images of those dark mothers those harsh ruling, step-mother type. But I think we lack of images of real and positive Mothers as well as THE image of THE MOTHER.
Actually this is part of my work with soon- to-be mothers. I worked through it for myself when finding me pregnant. So anybody knowing me will not be suprised about this article here

Nobody wants to be a bad or a weak mother. And its not neccessary. Crystal points out that you are better parenting when you use or integrate that women energy not only the mother energy. I can see this, too. But what you get when you have the right mix of energy you are able to be the (good), balanced mother and a powerful women (and you have the powerful, joyful daughter integrated). I don´t think that its a good idea to exclude anyone (and with this terms used it could to easily understood as you are not allowed to be a mother in order to be a good mother). And in fact, the woman energy as described by Crystal is exactly that mix of positive talents. She has the self-centered view transformed into healthy selfcare and selfworth and the caring mother energy is there too, but not without boundaries.
So yes, I believe it is helpful to point out this different energies and I know that they exist. I only see there more shadows and colors in it and a bigger picture to fit it. And I want to make sure that knowbody thinks mother-energy is a bad thing. It is not. We really need mother energy for mothering and parenting. But we need it in the healthy way not the unhealthy and that is unfortunatly not what society and our mothers teach us. So it´s time to begin.

Crystal wants to empower women and the same do I. And the energy she called woman energy is empowering. That´s okay. But it´s not okay that this can so easily understood (or even “must be understood”?) as a rejection of mothers energy. It is the rejection of cultural _negative_ mother energy. And it really is the healthiest thing we can do for us and society to bring out the positve energies or womanhood.

If you like me to dig deeper into this topic and give you more indight in the real mother energy or you like to discuss this, please leave a comment (and share).

Weekend Reflection

My week was filled by challenges,  growth and stuckness, visions, frustrations, excitement. It was a tough one and it seems that more of that are style are to come.

I did this week a few more steps on accepting challenges, open for solutions and reassure and strengthen my power.
I prescribed myself what I would recommend my clients and so I get myself (slowly) back on the track.  I am on a journey of healing and growing again. I guess that´s what´s called Live.

Links:
I was inspired by Dryades Friday Collages: Dryadajournals.blogspot.de
This is post part of the Weekend Reflection at ArtTherapista 

The Power of Freestyle-Bodypainting

Body painting is such a great powerful empowering experience, you might not imagine that. Its not so much about being able to make wonderful artwork on your body as you sometimes see it on the web or to have the bravity to make an artist do that. Yes, that can be part of it, but its not the core.

Bodypainting is such a sacred and powerful experience, because you honor your body while doing it. It is like you blow off the dust from your body and see the glimmer and radiance which was below. Although you actually painted something on your body it feels like you unearthed it – you and others are able to see the actual beauty of your body. Painting is honoring, expressing and revealing this indiscribable (and maybe unrecognized) beauty. And as it is something we are not familiar with, it takes some bravety to be a little “odd”.

Depending on your intention you can make this a really sacred experience. Think of all these ritual body art all over the world. Color and patterns can so much help you to see your beauty, to feel the sacredness, to feel so special as you are. You can even paint something on your body to feel differerent -  to pretend you are an antique priestess or a brave warrier – and it works! You really can use it to awaken these and other powers inside yourself as well as the bravety to do something that was forbidden to you as a child – this is very healing too. And you don´t even need to show it someone!

It is perfect for a sacred date with yourself or a unforgettable meeting of your women circle.  It is a very powerful and healing sacred and yet simple action.

And here are some ideas how and what you can do:

• Paint your hands with body painters (yes, you can use henna, too, but thats far more complicated).
• Paint your feet with body painters.
• ornament your whole body and enjoy
• Using colors feels different: you can paint your face in your own tribal style.
• you can ask your best friend to paint yourself powerful (yes you can do the fairystyle too, but try out the powerful one).
• You can experience the archaic power of red color on the body and in the face and how that makes you feel.
• or you can try out our own rainbow- joy-therapie by becoming really rainbowish and so so much more

This article is part of the Soul and Spice Body Blog Wave.

Look at this fabulous Holi Festival of Colors – which is a spiring festival, celebrated in India. This is really inspiring about the power and joy of colors and a color body experience: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPDR0ZMwSag

P.S. Want some fotos? Come over to Flickr

Hidden energy source in our life: our feelings can guide us

Feelings are most of the time not really easy, are they? Particularly if there are so much of them. And then even more intense and different from usual. Then we have this list of feelings that we like and the others should stay away. But it does´nt work that way.

Feelings are a really thrilling topic. They make us living, they make us alive. And even the „negative“ feelings can guide us. They help us. But we don´t like them anyway. I too.
To be rational and effective – thats trendy. Everything else is annoying. Feelings really make everything chaotic. They have different rules, different priorities.
And thats for good.
We can not live as machines. It would not make us happy and no one else either. So we need to deal with the feelings. Many of us – so do I sometimes – try then if the feelings do not fit (into our plans) ignore them. But feelings do always fit (but never in our calender).

The feelings – particularly the unpleasant ones – offer huge treasures, if we take them seriously:

• They are the entrance to our authenticity and vitality. And therefore for joy and happiness, even if we may not feel really troubled or broken. It really brings more joy in our lives, if we accept our feelings and not fight them. Then we are easily able to feel the real happiness. The happiness about that we are simply right, and wonderful.
• Wild feelings show us (sometimes exaggerated so that they are easier to understand) really important life-topics. Topics we otherwise would ignore, because that´s easier. They can point us at ethical values, we might ignore and whitewash. Or they point us at old wounds, srong desires, big fears. All this is in inside ourselves and it is precious. It is part of our life. If we always don´t want to look at it, we cut ourselves from the power of solving these problems and learn and grow from them (and they continue hurting).

• If we really seriously love ourselves – and this is the most healthy state of being to seek, which brings ourselves and those around us happiness – then we need to love us when we are in a „bad mood“, too: not criticizing ourselves, not grumbling at ourselves, not being dissatisfied. Because then we make ourselves small and guilty instead of reckognizing the power which is in the situation.

• Being emotional is not an unpleasant side effect of pregnancy, no mistake of mother nature. It is important and necessary. It helps us, to deal with the radical psychic changes, it helps us navigating through this time, it helps us to became a mother. It helps us being open for this time of change and our still invisible child inside and enables us to love it.

And in practice?

Simply dive in. Don´t worry, when we really dive into it, we really come back easily (and faster as if we don´t). Really. Promised.
But how does this work: diving into it?
It means you need to stop fighting, stop trying to be different, stop trying to feel different and stop being grumpy about feeling like that. You can comfort yourself and do something for you. But be careful that it is really something good and helpful and not simply flight or numbing.
What is helpful and good for you?
You can meditate, read inspiring texts that speak to your soul, take a bath, go for a walk. Express yourself through art, painting, writing, dance… Or listen to music and drink some tea… everything is healthy that lets room and is positive. Watching TV or reading novels is not on the list. You can give this as a reward to yourself but only after the first step. It is no confrontation with your feelings if you flee in a different life.
Diving in is different from enduring. Enduring is, when you sit and wait that it will go away. That is one possibility to deal with and its not the worst. But its not diving in or confronting with the message and the power of the feeling.

Often our judgment and our fears hold us back from diving into it. „I am not allowed to feel like that“ – „I don´t want to feel like that“ – „It´s not right“ – „If I dive into it, I will never come back, I will go crazy“, „no-one will ever take me serious again“ – „I will not handle the full feeling, I will break, everything will break“
Thats why most people stay at the edge of the feelings. I really can understand this. I like to stay there, too. I too need to overcome my fears, to dive into the rough water. But it is worth it every single time.
And the feelings loose their horror and show their sparkle and their power.

Nora Amala

P.S. The image is taken from a card of my inspiration cards deck which I am in the process of translating. They will be soon published in English. Here. So come back or subscribe to the mailing-list (and you will get a special prize for them)